How to Practice Psychological Flexibility
Saturday Review | Notes, Takeaways, and Reflections (2 - 8 Oct)
Welcome to Perennial Meditations (Saturday Review) — A weekly recap and reflection of ancient lessons for modern life. Below you’ll find links, notable quotes, transcript summaries, and a Saturday Meditation (paid subscribers).
1. Philosophy, the Guide of Life (Listen here)
In our Sundays with Seneca series, we explored a letter known today as On Philosophy, the Guide of Life. Seneca wrote,
It is clear to you, I am sure, Lucilius, that no man can live a happy life, or even a supportable life, without the study of wisdom; you know also that a happy life is reached when our wisdom is brought to completion, but that life is at least endurable even when our wisdom is only begun. This idea, however, clear though it is, must be strengthened and implanted more deeply by daily reflection; it is more important for you to keep the resolutions you have already made than to go on and make noble ones. You must persevere, must develop new strength by continuous study, until that which is only a good inclination becomes a good settled purpose. […]
2. Three Subtle Ways to Avoid a Life of Quiet Desperation (Read here)
In our Monday Meditation (The PATH), we searched for ancient lessons on ways to avoid living a life of quiet desperation (Fear, Guilt, and Shame).
Fear — The existential philosopher Søren Kierkegaard (1813–1855) said that there is nothing with which we are so afraid of getting to know how enormously much we are capable of doing and becoming. […]
Guilt — The theologian and psychologist Henri Nouwen explained, “Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power but self-rejection.” […]
Shame — Leading a life requires us to realize we are worthy. The American philosopher and poet Henry David Thoreau famously said, “The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation. […]
3. Cultivate Your Character — Like Confucius (Listen here)
In this episode of Perennial Meditations, I share a short clip (and a few passages) from my conversation with Stephen Angle, the author of Growing Moral: A Confucian Guide to Life. The full conversation will release next week on In Search of Wisdom.
According to Mengzi, if one works at cultivation, one’s sprouts can grow into full-fledged virtues. Angle writes, “Cultivation is work, but once the sprouts grow into full-fledged virtues (that is, once you fill them out), the resulting capabilities are powerful and automatic. This is why the Confucians describe the virtuous reactions of a sage as spontaneous.” […]
4. The Art of a Meaningful Life (Listen here)
This week on In Search of Wisdom, my guest was Vitaliy Katsenelson, the author of Soul in the Game: The Art of a Meaningful Life. Vitaliy’s book draws from the lives of classical composers, ancient Stoics, and contemporary thinkers. I found his book to be a beautiful collection of life lessons and wisdom for modern life.
In the conversation, Vitaliy and I discuss,
Living in challenging environments
Having an operating system for life
Stoicism and investing
The difference between art and craft, and much more
5. How to “Know Thyself” — Like Socrates (Read here)
The notion of self-awareness dates all the way back to Ancient Greece. According to the Greek writer Pausanias, there were three Delphic maxims inscribed in the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi: know thyself, nothing to excess and certainty brings insanity. The ancient Greek aphorism “Know thyself” was made famous by Socrates (by way of his student Plato). Although, strangely, Socrates stressed,
“True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.”
Similarly, the nineteenth-century philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche noted: “How can man know himself? He is a thing obscure and veiled. If the hare has seven skins, man can cast from him seventy times seven skins […]
6. What is Up to Us? (Listen here)
In this episode of Perennial Meditations, I connect with my friend Brandon Tumblin, the host of The Strong Stoic podcast, to discuss how actually to implement the dichotomy of control in daily life.
In the conversation, Brandon and I discuss,
The dichotomy of control and how to put it into practice.
Why there are more things to focus on in our control than we might think.
The challenges of integrating the practice into daily life,
How to love what is up to you, and much more.
7. How to Practice Psychological Flexibility (Saturday Meditation)
How do you define maturity? Take a moment to imagine what a mature response to common life challenges might look like.
In A Liberated Mind (one of my favorite psychology books), author Steven C. Hayes (the founder of ACT, watch Ted Talk here) begins the book this way, “Life should be getting easier, but it’s not.” Although we are living longer, writes Hayes, it is difficult to make the case that we are living happier.
How flexible are you?
Would any of your friends and family describe you as rigid?
According to Hayes, psychological rigidity predicts anxiety, depression, substance abuse, trauma, eating disorders, and almost every other psychological and behavioral problem.
Although psychological flexibility is not new, the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius wrote to himself, “Learn to be indifferent to what makes no difference.” Similarly, William James, the father of psychology, said,
“The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.”
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