How to Demand the Best for Yourself
In the Enchiridion (or Handbook), the philosopher Epictetus asks: “How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?” If you’re listening to Perennial Meditations — one can reasonably assume you’re interested in improving yourself. However, the question, at least according to Epictetus, is how serious are you about making progress?
In the Art of Living (a modern translation of Epictetus), Sharon Lebell (an upcoming podcast guest) puts it this way,
Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. How long can you afford to put off who you really want to be? Your nobler self cannot wait any longer. Put your principles into practice — now. Stop the excuses and the procrastination. This is your life! You aren’t a child anymore. The sooner you set yourself to your spiritual program, the happier you will be. The longer you wait, the more you’ll be vulnerable to mediocrity and feel filled with shame and regret because you know you are capable of better.
Similarly, the renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow stressed that if you plan on being anything less than you can be, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life. According to Maslow,
We fear our highest possibilities. We are generally afraid to become that which we can glimpse in our most perfect moments under conditions of great courage. We enjoy and even thrill to godlike possibilities we see in ourselves in such peak moments. And yet we simultaneously shiver with weakness, awe, and fear before these very same possibilities.
What obstacles stand in the way of you demanding the best for yourself? Does the fear Maslow suggests play a role in living up to your potential?
Demanding the best for yourself involves intention and urgency. For the Stoics, it is helpful to learn from those that have already traveled the path. Epictetus advised his students to look to Socrates,
Whenever you encounter anything that is difficult or pleasurable, or highly or lowly regarded, remember that the contest is now: you are at the Olympic Games, and you cannot wait any longer…. That is how Socrates fulfilled himself by attending to nothing except reason in everything he encountered. And you, although you are not yet a Socrates, should live as someone who at least wants to be a Socrates.
Epictetus stressed that being intentional and focusing on progress is critical. He urged his students not to simply read books. But to evaluate progress through your actions and thinking by being more discriminating and reflective.
Demanding the best for yourself comes down to choices.
To quote Maslow a final time, “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”
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Thank you for listening; I hope you found something useful.
Until next time, be wise and be well,
P.S. If you’re interested, I’m starting a free weekly meetup on 4 Nov (every Friday at 12:00 pm EST over Zoom) called Reading and the Good Life. My hope is that it will be like a book club but with a bit more contemplation and connection!
How to Demand the Best for Yourself