👁️ Know Thyself
The “Know Thyself” series explores philosophy, theology, and psychology for insights on the art (and science) of self-awareness. Expect to learn perennial ideas and psychological concepts on human nature, along with philosophical lessons on the art of living.
The Philosophy of Desire
Desire is everywhere. It drives what we buy, what we chase, how we feel, and even how we see ourselves.
But how often do we stop to ask: What is desire, really? Is it a source of wisdom—or suffering? Is it something to be fulfilled or eliminated?
Many philosophers have long believed that desire serves as both the driving force behind our actions and a source of suffering. In this study, we’ll explore perspectives from Stoicism and Buddhism, along with insights from the Greek philosopher Epicurus and the theologian St. Thomas Aquinas.
Given that this series is called “Know Thyself,” we will also look inward for insight through various reflection exercises. It turns out that we all have a lot of experience when it comes to desire!
In his book On Desire, the American philosopher William B. Irvine shares that we are surrounded by desire at every waking moment. No one really needs to teach us how to desire; we all excel at it. “If there were an Olympics of desiring,” Irvine remarks, “we would all make the team!”
Buddhism and the roots of suffering
The concept of desire is central to the earliest teachings of the Buddha and is a subject of considerable discussion in Buddhist thought. The first of the Four Noble Truths taught by the Buddha is that all living beings experience some degree of suffering. This does not imply that there is no joy in life; it simply means that we all encounter disappointment, unease, and discomfort to some extent.
But this does not mean that all desires are harmful. In Buddhism, there is a distinction between wholesome and unwholesome desires. The Buddha, particularly in early texts like the Dhammapada, stated that what keeps us stuck is our attachment to things like pleasure and permanence. The Buddha stressed, “From craving comes sorrow and from craving comes fear.”
It’s not that wanting food when you’re hungry or seeking shelter when you’re cold is a problem. These are natural needs. The issue arises when desire becomes compulsive and takes control of us. We pursue things, thinking they will make us happy, but once we attain them, the satisfaction wanes, and a new craving surfaces. This is called samsara—the endless cycle of craving and dissatisfaction.
The Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield expresses it succinctly:
Desire is not the enemy. It’s our clinging to desire, our identification with it, that creates suffering.
The Buddhist concept of the “middle way” is key here. The Buddha rejected both indulgence and extreme denial. In the first discourse after his enlightenment, he said, “There is a middle way… which gives vision, which gives knowledge, which leads to peace, to direct knowledge, to enlightenment, to Nibbāna.”
In short, Buddhism doesn’t ask us to destroy desire. It asks us to understand it, recognize its impermanence, and stop clinging to it as if our happiness depends on obtaining what we want. As the Zen saying goes,
Desire is a teacher: When we immerse ourselves in it without clinging, it can show us where we’re not free.
Stoicism and the discipline of desire
Like Buddhism, Stoicism offers key insights into the nature of desire. A fundamental aspect of Stoic philosophy is the distinction between what we can control—our beliefs, judgments, and actions—and what we cannot—such as wealth, reputation, and health.
For the Stoics, suffering arises from misguided desires. In the opening passage of the Enchiridion (or handbook), the Stoic teacher Epictetus explains,
Some things are within our power, while others are not. Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office, and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing.
It sounds simple enough—in theory.
However, in practice, directing our attention and efforts to what is within our control often requires us to discipline our desires. We may recognize that something is beyond our control (such as the behavior of a colleague, spouse, or politician), yet we still experience a desire or aversion to it.
Most of us operate under the illusion that fulfilling our desires will lead to enduring happiness. However, Irvine observes that we frequently find that getting what we want only results in fleeting joy, or none at all.
Why can’t we be content once we achieve our desires?
What fuels our insatiability?
Psychological studies provide some insight into these questions. Psychologists suggest we have a propensity to “miswant”—to desire things that won’t provide lasting satisfaction once we attain them.
Epictetus came to a similar conclusion:
Remember that desire promises the attaining of what you desire, and aversion the avoiding of what you want to avoid, and that he who falls into desire is unfortunate. In contrast, he who falls into what he wants to avoid suffers misfortune.
The Stoics warn that we invite disappointment upon ourselves whenever we wish for things that are outside of our control. The right goal, then, is not to control every urge but to order our desires toward virtue and living in harmony with nature (or how the world works).
If we learn to discipline our desires, we’ll stop feeling stuck in a life we don’t want. Instead of daydreaming about the lives others lead, we’ll begin embracing our own journey and making the most of it!
Epicurus on having enough
When people hear the word “Epicurean,” they often think of indulgence—fine wine, gourmet meals, and luxury. However, that’s a big misconception. The real Epicurus, the ancient Greek philosopher who founded Epicureanism in the 4th century BCE, had a much simpler and deeper view of desire.
